The Intentional Relationship

Real Attachment = Real Intimacy

Navigate Mixed Signals and Create the Security You Both Crave

When intensity triggers withdrawal, discover a proven path to calm connection that feels safe for both of you—with grounding practices that stabilize your relationship

Get the relationship you always wanted, stop the repeating fights, and enjoy real closeness, using a practical step-by-step approach you can begin today, no psychotherapy.

Purchase The Intentional Relationship Program

$0 today, then 3 monthly payments of $99 starting in 30 days.
30-day No-Questions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee.

The Reason You're Here

You no longer want to keep chasing while they keep pulling away. You are ready for steadier days, fewer spikes, and closeness that feels safe to trust.

This program gives you a clear, step-by-step process and insight you can use in your life, that lead to better outcomes.

You will learn the pause that prevents escalation, the language that lowers defenses, and the moves that lead back to safety and connection.

You can begin on your own; no psychotherapy, no partner sign-up needed.

You will learn the core issues that keep couples stuck:

  • Anger
  • Forgiveness
  • Offense
  • Tit-For-Tat
  • Deeply rooted communication problems
  • Intimacy and desire
  • Feeling unseen and unheard
  • Feeling inadequate or judged

You replace reactivity with repair, predictability, and trust.

The method is grounded in how humans act, react, and interact, including attachment patterns, relationship dynamics, and evolutionary psychology. You need predictable connection that honors both your need for closeness and their need for space. 

It clarifies how men and women often read the same moment differently, and how masculine and feminine energies shape responses, so differences become workable rather than personal. 

Step-by-step, you end the cycle for good, feel fully welcomed as you are, and build the relationship you have always wanted.

This is why you’re here.

d8cf4f387c8c7a1a8dfc8b97df8d6b1459b797a0 (1)

Beyond Therapy

Not about rehashing the past
We focus on creating a better future

Better Than Coaching

Not just pep talks
We use no-nonsense, science-backed psychology

The Intentional Relationship

A structured, self-paced journey
16 modules
Containing: Videos, Lessons and Bonus Content

Built on proven research by experts like Dr. Dan Siegel, Robyn Gobbel, and Dr. Gabor Maté.

My Best Offer EVER!

Don’t Pay: $396

We Cover Your First Month
(25% off)
So You Pay: $0 today
then 4
3 monthly payments of $99
starting in 30 days.

TOTAL = $297

Purchase The Intentional Relationship Program

$0 today, then 3 monthly payments of $99 starting in 30 days.
30-day No-Questions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee.

(On the fence? Remember: you can try the entire program for 30 days for FREE. There is NO PAYMENT today, and you only pay $99 for 3 months, so you can decide if it’s right for you.)

Real Couples. Real Transformations:

(Watch the video testimonials below to see how real couples broke free from their painful patterns and created the connection they craved.)

4.8 ★ average from 152 graduates

Purchase The Intentional Relationship Program

$0 today, then 3 monthly payments of $99 starting in 30 days.
30-day No-Questions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee.

Why This Course Exists

If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop of chasing and retreating – craving closeness while your partner pulls away – you know how exhausting it feels. You lie awake analysing texts, or you replay last night’s conversation while making coffee. You’re not dramatic and your partner isn’t cold: you’re two nervous systems trying to stay safe.

The Intentional Relationship Program is the bridge. Instead of just talking about your patterns, we give you the science and the scripts to interrupt them at home. Over 25+ years working with thousands of couples, we’ve distilled what actually helps: short, practical lessons, nervous‑system regulation tools, and guided conversations that fit into your day. This isn’t theory – it’s a practice you’ll feel after the first lesson.

You’ll move from anxious churn to calm connection, from icy distance to genuine closeness. Think of it as a roadmap that turns the insights from your attachment pairing into real change. We meet you where you are and walk you to where you want to be.

Anthony Santen, CT, SAC Dip(Adv. Psychotherapy)
Founder: The Intentional Relationship
25-Year Relationship Recovery Specialist

What You Want

You want to be able to talk about a tough day over coffee without it spiralling into a fight. You want to kiss goodnight knowing you’re on the same team, instead of lying awake wondering if they’re pulling away. You want to feel seen and heard – not just for what you give, but for who you are. You want an end to the rollercoaster: the high‑drama blowups followed by days of silence.

Deep down, you want to wake up feeling safe in love again. To trust that you can set boundaries without losing the relationship. To stop walking on eggshells or analysing every word. In short, you want peace, passion, and the confidence that your connection can weather anything.

That’s what you’ve been striving for all along. You just haven’t had the roadmap. This program gives you the daily practices and the mindset shifts to get there.

What You'll Get

Instead of listing modules, let’s talk about what changes. You’ll learn exactly how to spot your own triggers and pause before you get swept up in fight‑or‑flight. Imagine noticing your heart race during a disagreement, taking a breath, and calmly expressing what you really need. You’ll stop the anxious–avoidant loop before it spirals out of control by grounding yourself, naming your fear, and choosing connection over reaction.

We’ll show you how to recognise when you’re emotionally flooded and bring yourself back to calm fast – mastering self‑regulation so you remain centred even in heated moments. You’ll develop the ability to speak honestly without hidden demands or expectations, and to listen in a way that reduces defensiveness and fosters intimacy.

You’ll learn to hold boundaries clearly and kindly; to repair ruptures quickly and authentically; and to build genuine emotional safety through consistent, accountable communication. 

One client, a dismissive husband and an anxious wife, used to spend nights in separate rooms after every disagreement. After just two weeks, they’re now de‑escalating arguments in minutes and laughing together on the couch again.

All of this is delivered through concise videos, step‑by‑step lessons, and practical exercises you can use immediately in real life. You’ll also gain something subtle but powerful: hope grounded in real skills. You’ll know exactly what to do to make love feel safe and fulfilling again.

From Quiz Insights to Real Change

The Compatibility Decoder shows how your attachment styles combine to fuel your conflicts. Now, this course turns that clarity into day-by-day practices you can use at home, so fights actually de-escalate, distance closes, and trust grows again. It’s a roadmap from insight to action:

  • Built for all attachment style combinations (yes, especially anxious–avoidant mismatches like yours).

  • Step-by-step skills tailored to the exact pattern you just discovered about yourselves.

  • Designed for real life – short videos, practical exercises, and quick wins that fit into your busy days.

No matter what your attachment styles are, the process adapts to you. This is not a one-size-fits-all approach; it’s customized to help your dynamic find its balance.

anthony img 3 (1)

Beyond “Just Relationship Issues” - Healing the Root Cause

Your struggles aren’t just about who forgot to do the dishes or how you argue – it goes deeper than generic “communication issues.” The truth is, you’re both reacting from old attachment wounds formed long before you met each other. These deep patterns drive the chaos:

  • You may have learned to trade your authenticity for acceptance (hiding your true feelings to avoid rejection).

  • You may have learned to secure love through compliance (people-pleasing and walking on eggshells to feel safe).

  • You might be stuck in patterns of self-protection and self-betrayal, because no one ever taught you how to create healthy attachment.

No wonder that simple communication tips haven’t solved the problem – the problem lives underneath, in how you learned to survive emotionally. And you already sense it: this isn’t going to be fixed by just “talking it out” or pretending everything is fine.

If you want to break through these ingrained patterns without spending years in therapy, keep reading – because that’s exactly what this program is designed to do.

How Real Change Happens (Our Approach)

You don’t need a random assortment of “relationship tips” or yet another conversation that goes nowhere. You need emotional accountability and a proven process. Here’s how we facilitate real change:

  • Honor Each Other’s Humanity: Discover how to honor your partner’s feelings and needs exactly as you wish yours to be honored. (Mutual empathy replaces mutual blame.)

  • No More Control or Compliance: Stop unconsciously demanding compliance or shrinking yourself to avoid conflict—start creating true equality and partnership.

  • Build Safety Through Respect: Learn to create safety from genuine respect and understanding, not through walking on eggshells, ultimatums, or control.

  • From Negotiation to Connection: Shift your relationship from cautious negotiations (“I’ll only open up if you do”) to authentic, surrendered connection where you both feel secure.

This program doesn’t “fix” you because you are not broken. Instead, it empowers you to transform your relationship dynamics by mastering your own emotional maturity. You become the change agent:

  • No psychobabble – we keep it real and relatable.

  • No BS – we call out the tough truths with compassion.

  • Step-by-step – we break down each skill into manageable steps.

By holding up a mirror to your patterns and giving you concrete tools, we guide you to become the secure, steady partner that can turn things around (even if your spouse isn’t on board yet). Real change happens with you, and we’re here to show you how.

My 30-Day Promise To You

Your Investment: Full Course + Lifetime Access – $396 $297 
(Split into 4 3 monthly payments of $99 – first month free, so you pay $0 for the first month.)

When you enroll, you get instant access to all modules and materials. We believe in simple, transparent pricing:

  • Today: $0 (we cover your first installment – an instant $99 savings off the $396 list price)

  • In 30 days: $99

  • In 60 days: $99

  • In 90 days: $99
    (Total = $297 for the entire program)

There are no hidden fees or surprises. For less than the cost of two therapy sessions, you’re getting an entire guided relationship program—everything you need to know to create a thriving partnership of equals, right at your fingertips. (And with $0 due today, you can start immediately.)

Enroll today for $0 and get full access to every module, tool, and resource for 30 days. If you don’t feel a positive shift within those 30 days, simply cancel and you’ll never be charged—no questions asked.

Plus, enroll before and receive my book: First, Do Nothing as a bonus gift. You have nothing to lose—just real change to gain.

This Course Is For You If:

You’re tired of feeling emotionally starved and on edge in your relationship. You feel unseen or unheard, and you’re always waiting for the next fight or the next painful silence to hit.
You’ve tried therapy or self-help tools, but still feel stuck in the same patterns. Insight alone hasn’t led to the lasting change you crave.
You’re committed to looking at your own role in the relationship and growth process, instead of just blaming your partner. (You know it takes two, and you’re ready to do your part.)
You want real intimacy and deep emotional safety – not just polite, surface-level peace. You’re aiming for a breakthrough, not a Band-Aid.
You’re ready to invest in your relationship and yourself – emotionally and mentally. You’re done waiting for your partner to magically change, and you’re prepared to lead the change with new skills and a new mindset.

If this sounds like you, you’re exactly who we built this for. You’re not alone, and there is a way forward.

(On the fence? Remember: you can try the entire program for 30 days for FREE, since it’s $0 today, before you decide if it’s right for you.)

Please Don’t Enroll If:

❌ You’re looking for a quick fix without any effort. (This course is straightforward and efficient, but it does ask you to reflect and practice new skills.)
❌ You only want validation or sympathy and aren’t interested in taking accountability. (We will absolutely validate your feelings, but true growth requires honesty with yourself.)
❌ You believe only your partner is the problem and refuse to consider changing your own approach. (This program works when you work it—blame won’t get you results.)
❌ You’re not ready to invest time or emotion into improving your relationship. (If you’re not at least a little uncomfortable with the idea of changing, the status quo will persist.)

We say this with love: this course is designed to create real change, and that only happens with your open mind and heart. If you’re not there right now, that’s okay – but this might not be the right time for you.

Here’s Exactly What You’ll Gain From the Program:

1: From Emotional Reactivity to Emotional Adulthood

  • Identify and interrupt your emotional triggers immediately.

  • Master self-regulation: remain calm and centered even in difficult interactions.

  • Shift from automatic defensiveness to thoughtful responses.

2: Decoding Patterns, Pathology & Essential Needs

  • Understand the unconscious relationship patterns that keep you stuck.

  • Identify your unmet emotional needs clearly and effectively.

  • Learn how your nervous system shapes your responses—and how to intentionally shift these reactions.

3: Communication That Connects (Without Control or Compliance)

  • Develop the ability to speak honestly without hidden demands or expectations.

  • Cultivate real listening that reduces defensiveness and fosters intimacy.

  • Clearly communicate in ways that build trust and respect rather than resentment.

4: Boundaries, Repair & Restoration

  • Understand how to hold boundaries clearly without punishment, manipulation, or emotional violence.

  • Master proven methods to quickly and authentically repair relationship ruptures.

  • Build genuine emotional safety through consistent, accountable communication.

5: From Conflict to Real Collaboration

  • Move beyond conflict avoidance or control-based negotiation.

  • Learn advanced conflict-resolution skills that deepen intimacy and collaboration.

  • Become skilled in turning conflict into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

← Scroll For More →

It's well-worth the money.
This program provided us with the tools we needed.

S & T

I've seen lot's of counselors, but now have everything we need to move forward in our Marriage.

Liz & Jason

It exceeded all my expectations
He's a no BS guy
It's exactly what we needed

K & C

So many of these Aha moments
There are so many things I've learned.

J & P

We'd seen five counsellors before...
We'll never need another counsellor again

R & C

Was it worth it? 100%.
Worth it? 200%.

Vivek and Anisha

It helped me as a person - Hugely!
I love this person more

P & S

We made a good decision
Time and money well spent
where do you get this these days

S & R Designation

We tried traditional therapy, but it wasn't for us at all.
It was the best decision we could have made.

S & S

This is the only thing that has clicked for me, and has worked, and made sense.

L & V

Program Outline & Bonuses

The Intentional Relationship is a real, comprehensive program wrapped in a deliberate, no-nonsense approach. You can move through it as fast or slow as fits your life – the pacing is up to you, and you have lifetime access.

Main Program Includes:

  • 16-Module Self-Paced Course (HD video lessons + audio options)

  • 30+ bite-sized videos teaching core concepts and techniques

  • 15+ Deep Dive worksheets & exercises to apply each lesson to your life

  • End-of-module reflection questions to track your growth

Everything is laid out step-by-step. You can binge it in a few weeks or take it one insight at a time. Go at your own pace – faster or slower, it’s your choice.

Additional Resources (Bonuses):

Attachment Style Quiz (get clarity on both partners’ attachment patterns)

Libido Clinic (guide for aligning mismatched sex drives)

Anger Clinic (tools for managing and understanding anger in your relationship)

Sleep Clinic (tips for better sleep hygiene to reduce stress and irritability)
(Plus, optional one-on-one sessions with Anthony at a 25% discount if you want personal guidance.)

Exclusive Bonuses

Book: “First, Do Nothing”How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding Calmly (Anthony’s concise guide to diffusing reactivity in the moment)

Book: “Getting to Sure”How to Lower Anxiety and Build True Self-Confidence, Trust & Resilience (a roadmap for finding security in yourself, which feeds into a secure relationship)

Simple Transparent Pricing

REGULAR PRICE
Full Course + All Bonuses + Lifetime Access:
$396 total

(or 4 monthly installments of $99)

TODAYS PROMOTION
Your first month FREE so you pay $0 today, followed by 3 monthly installments of $99, starting in 30 days, for a total of $297)

  • Instant access to everything as soon as you enroll (no drip content delays).

  • Absolutely no hidden fees or upsells required to get results.

  • First 30 days are free to try with a 30-day guarantee if you don’t want to pay.

To get started, click below. Remember: you will NOT be charged today. Your first payment is $0, and you can cancel within 30 days for a full refund if you’re not blown away by the progress you’re making.

Purchase The Intentional Relationship Program

$0 today, then 3 monthly payments of $99 starting in 30 days.
30-day No-Questions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee.

For less than the cost of two therapy sessions, you’re getting a complete relationship makeover toolkit. And today, it costs you nothing to begin. We want you to experience the relief and hope of this program before you commit financially.

100% No-Questions-Asked Money-Back Guarantee:
If within 30 days you feel this course hasn’t helped you move closer to understanding, connection, and real change, we’ll give you a full refund. We stand behind this work—because we’ve seen it transform even the toughest situations. (Just go to ‘My Profile’ and click on the Cancel Button)

Anthony Santen, CT, SAC Dip(Adv. Psychotherapy)
Founder: The Intentional Relationship
25-Year Relationship Recovery Specialist

Meet Anthony

Anthony Santen, CT, SAC Dip (Adv. Psychotherapy)
Founder & Creator of The Intentional Relationship
26-Year Relationship Recovery Specialist

Anthony isn’t your typical therapist. He’s a relationship counselor and coach with over 25 years of hands-on experience helping couples break toxic cycles and rebuild healthy, loving marriages. His approach centers on emotional maturity, personal accountability, and practical skills.

Early in his career, Anthony realized that couples don’t need endless venting sessions or abstract theories—they need a clear, structured method to break reactive patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create genuine intimacy. After working with thousands of couples (yes, thousands), he developed The Intentional Relationship approach to distill what truly works.

Anthony has seen it all – high-conflict marriages on the brink of divorce, partners stuck in anxious–avoidant dances, you name it. Using his no-BS yet deeply empathetic style, he has guided couples from frustration, blame, and heartbreak to real partnership, mutual respect, and lasting intimacy. This course is the culmination of those decades of experience, packaged so you can access his guidance anytime, anywhere.

When you join, you’re not just getting “content” – you’re getting Anthony’s hard-won insights and step-by-step guidance. He’ll be with you (virtually) each step of the way as you transform your relationship dynamic.

(You can eve book optional 1-on-1 sessions with him if you need additional assistance!)

Still Have Questions

Counseling often focuses on talking through issues without showing you how to change your nervous‑system responses. Our program teaches step‑by‑step practices you can do at home, so you actually feel calmer and more connected—no weekly office visits required.

One partner can start alone and still see positive changes. When you show up differently—calmer, clearer, and less reactive—your partner often responds in kind. Many partners join in, after seeing the initial shift.

Lessons are bite‑sized (15–20 minutes) and can be completed on your own schedule. You’ll get tools you can use during everyday activities like cooking dinner or texting on your lunch break.

The program costs less than two therapy sessions and includes a full month free. If it doesn’t help within 30 days, cancel and you won’t pay a dime.

No. This is a self-paced online course (with an option to add 1:1 sessions if you choose). You’ll learn tools, strategies, and insights on your own time – you can go through it together with your partner, or solo. It’s not about diagnosing or digging into childhood memories for months; it’s about actionable change now. (And if you do want personal help, you can book Anthony for private sessions at 25% off as a student.)

We designed it to be very manageable: about 90–120 minutes per week is plenty to watch the videos and try the exercises. Some couples do one module a week; others binge multiple modules in a weekend. You have lifetime access and flexible pacing, so you can go as fast or slow as you need. Even if you’re busy, you can fit this in and start seeing results.

It’s self-paced and outcome-focused. There are 16 modules. Most couples complete it in about 12–16 weeks if they do roughly a module per week. But you can absolutely go faster or slower. Some finish in 8 weeks; others spread it over 6 months. It’s totally up to you and what feels right. There's no time limit.

Many participants report feeling a shift in the first few days – sometimes even after the very first module, you’ll have a new perspective that eases some tension. The more tangible transformations (improved communication, less fighting, more intimacy) build over the following weeks as you practice the skills. By the end of the course (or even halfway), most couples say things feel dramatically different than before. Remember, you have a month free to see these initial changes for yourself.

Yes. All lessons are online, and you can access them on any device. It’s 100% private, self-guided, and convenient. No scheduling, no travel, no awkward group sessions. Just you (and your partner if they join) learning in your living room, on your own schedule.

Three big differences: (1) It’s attachment-style aware – we tailor advice to your pattern (most courses ignore this). (2) It’s not fluff or just motivational talk; it’s grounded in psychology and neuroscience research, but broken down into real-world steps. (3) It’s proven – developed by a specialist with 25+ years experience and refined with real couples, not a blogger’s opinion. Also, you’re getting lifetime access for one price, whereas coaching can cost thousands for a limited time. Essentially, this is deeper than coaching, but more actionable than therapy.

Absolutely, yes. In fact, many couples use the tools from this program to enhance their therapy sessions. Think of this course as giving you the skill practice and mindset shifts that make therapy more effective. Counselors have even referred clients to this course to accelerate their progress. There’s no conflict in doing both – they can complement each other well.

Then you shouldn’t have to pay for it. Really. You have a full 30 days to try the course from the day you enroll. Dive in and complete as much as you like. If you don’t love it, just send us an email at any time in that window and we’ll issue a prompt, full refund. No hoops to jump through, no hard feelings. Our goal is for every student to feel it was 100% worth it. If it’s not delivering that for you, we insist on giving your money back. Your trust matters.

(Just go to 'My Account' and click on the cancel button)

(Still have a question not answered here? Feel free to email Anthony directly at anthony@marriage-mastery.com – he or our team will get back to you ASAP.)

Purchase The Intentional Relationship Program

$0 today, then 3 monthly payments of $99 starting in 30 days.
30-day No-Questions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee.

TL;DR

Stop Waiting for Change.
Create It.

You could keep doing what you’ve been doing… keep waiting for your partner to magically understand you, to show up differently, or to finally “get it.” You could stay on the emotional rollercoaster, hoping something will change on its own.

OR, you could take the leap to become the partner who leads the change – with maturity, emotional accountability, and genuine respect. Real intimacy isn’t something you find or luck into. It’s something you build—starting with you.

You have more power than you think. The tools and guidance in this course will help you tap into that power, so you can transform your marriage from the inside out. It’s time to step off the anxious-avoidant merry-go-round and onto solid ground.

Real love, safety, and connection are within reach. You just need the roadmap and the courage to take the first step.

Stop waiting. Start building the relationship you deserve – today.

A science-backed, outcome-driven course. You follow a deliberate sequence of exercises, build new skills each week, and ‘graduate’ able to run your relationship independently—no endless sessions or hourly bills.

Encouragement and mindset pep-talks; great for motivation, yet often missing a structured curriculum or clear metric of success, so progress plateaus.

Weekly talk sessions centred on past wounds and validation. Useful in your 20s, but usually open-ended, expensive, and light on actionable tools for couples who need change now.