3-Day “End Your Fights—Not Your Relationship” Challenge.
Day 2: The Curious Pivot
Great work yesterday pausing before tension rose. Today, we’ll take that calm and use it to gently steer a heated moment back toward understanding.
Today’s Lesson
Quick Recap: Pause with Presence
Remember yesterday’s Pause Practice:
- Notice that first spark of irritation
- Pause and breathe
- Soften your body
- Speak from calm
Keep that habit in place—it sets the stage for today’s tool.
Today’s Quick-Win: Use Your Curious Pivot
When an argument is already underway, try this:
- Pause & Breathe (as before)
- Acknowledge emotion:
“I can see you’re feeling ___.” - Invite clarity:
“Help me understand what you need right now.” - Listen fully—no interruptions.
Use your worksheet to draft and practice that exact question. Then, next time you feel the heat, step in with your Pivot and watch the energy shift.
You’re rewiring your relationship step by step. I’ll see you tomorrow for Day 3—where we’ll complete the full Repair Sequence.
Keep going,
Anthony
Worksheet Day 2: Practice Emotional Accountability with the Curious Pivot
How to Use This Worksheet
- Complete Sections A & B before your next conversation.
- Practice aloud your Pivot questions.
- After your next tense moment, fill in Section C with your notes.
A. Recall a Recent Escalation
Identify one disagreement that escalated. Describe:
- What was said or done that triggered you (your partner’s words, tone, or action)?
- How you responded (tone, words, body language).
- The outcome (argument intensity, resolution, distance).
Description | Your Reaction | Resulting Outcome |
B. Craft Your Curious Pivot
Use these prompts to write the question you’ll ask in the heat of a dispute:
- Acknowledge emotion:
“I can see you’re feeling ___.” - Invite clarity:
“Help me understand what you need right now.”
Write your full Curious Pivot below:
“I can see you’re feeling ___________________________________. Help me understand ___________________________.”
C. Mid-Argument Practice & Reflection
When tension rises next:
- Pause & Breathe (from Day 1)
- Speak your Curious Pivot (from Section B)
- Listen & Reflect: Note what your partner said.
- Observe the Shift: How did their tone, posture, or words change?
What Happened Next (Their Response) | What I Noticed Change in Them | What I Felt in That Moment |
D. Takeaway & Next Steps
In one sentence, summarize what you learned about your influence on the argument:
“Today I discovered that when I use my Pivot question, ________________________________________.”
Plan one adjustment for tomorrow’s conversation:
“Tomorrow, if I feel tension rising when ________________, I will _____________________________.”